Big Eat Treatin'

So last week my mother and I decided to treat ourselves to YO!Sushi!'s Super Sumo Sunday deal.

An all-you-can-eat buffet meal for £19.50.

Here's an informed guide to making the most of your experience:

1. First of all, make sure you get there early. Or at least, not at a time when most other people will be eating. There will be a queue. 

2. The sushi comes round on a rotating belt. You want to be sitting as close as possible to the chefs - where the belt starts, which comes with the added pleasure of seeing the food made. You do not want to be at the end of the belt, where all the best pieces have gone and you're left with everyone's lonely rejects. Though if you haven't been successful with step 1, it will be blind luck where you're sitting. 

3. Keep an eye on the belt. If you see a dish you like but already have a lot on your plate, evaluate its worth to you. You may not see it again. 

4. Don't eat too much rice. It will fill you up. Think tactical, soldier.

5. Be wary of other customers. Sitting next to a larger than life family of four? Pay attention to what they're eyeing on the belt. If a dish that you both seem to like is approaching and you're side by side or behind them in the belt queue, make loud declarations about how you're getting that dish so as to tell them to back off, or just casually stretch your arm out and nab it for yourself. Take no prisoners. 

6. See anything in packaging ('snackpacks'), such as chilli rice crackers or wasabi peas? Grab 'em and stash 'em. Warning: you may later choke on the peas.

7. Don't panic. It's alright to grab the plate quickly but there's nothing sadder or more embarrassing then a spilled over plate on the belt, your sushi inadequacy shamefully revolving round like dirty laundry for all to see.

8. Dishes marked with a grey or yellow band are not included in the buffet deal. Avoid at all costs. 

9. Don't expect the best dishes. They probably won't be coming, or if you want them you should try specially requesting it. We experienced a severe sushimi draught, which was uncompensated by the abundance of soy beans. 

10. Greed is a sin. Don't take more than you can handle or you will be punished for it later. YO!Sushi! charges you extra if you've left too much food behind. My fate by the end involved woefully force-feeding myself spoonfuls of unwanted rice.

11. Time is of the essence.You only have one hour to eat. No room for idle chit-chat, make your toilet trip before the meal. It's not even a guideline - the server will come round at the exact time that your session ends like an invigilator, and then it will be chopsticks down. 

12. Just don't go with your mother. 

13. Sushi is an acquired taste. If you find it difficult to find friends to go with you, aiming for a competition angle with the buffet can encourage people to take part. The record for the most dishes consumed by one person is 33. To put that into context, my mum and I managed about 28 between us.

Whale there's no point in leaving any dishes for salmon else

14. Go back in time. The policy used to be that you receive two hours instead of one, which would leave more room for eating and digesting. Plus, a record from just last year stated that the price used to be cheaper than £19.50.

15. Despite the negativism, yes the food is good. But unless you're craving sushi, it's not really worth it. There are plenty of other Asian cuisine buffets that will have more on offer for less of the cost and stress. E.g. today my mother and I went to The Real China, a buffet with a decent selection and quality of dishes for just over £11, no time restrictions.

Dessert selection @ The Real China

Chocolate Ganache Cake @ Yo!Sushi